The neighbour’s triplets have been awfully quiet today. For a while I had even assumed that they weren’t in the house at all.
I briefly looked out the window to see what the weather was like and caught a glimpse of Arsehole standing motionless in front of the lovely blossoming geraniums.
I paused to ponder why Arsehole was being so… subdued.
After a few minutes he turned around, deathly silent. In his right hand he held a tube of red lipstick, clearly belonging to Mum. In his left, he held a tampon.
The child was eating the lipstick. The entire tube of lipstick.
Deciding that I would not be the one to deal with this I settled back down to work and waited with baited breath for Mum to notice Arsehole in the garden.