Somewhere, somehow, two different people in separate countries have communicated using technology.

The two people in question have been identified as none other than US President Donald Trump and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnball. The incident has been rumoured to have occurred at some point within the past 24 hours, however scientists cannot confirm this because a phone call has never been recorded between these two countries before.

After hanging up, Turnball promptly called Deputy Barnaby Joyce and clarified “like, oh my god, did you see the suit he wore at the inauguration? I know right, that tie could have blinded people.”

Meanwhile Trump complained to Vice President Pence that “Turnball refused to wear a similar tie even though I explained that on Wednesday’s this is what the political elite do”.

It has emerged that Mr Trump has now published a step by step guide for coping with bad phone calls:

  1. Make some noises into the technology. Do not pause to listen to any noises coming from the other side. They are not important and are not worth your time.
  2. Get momentarily lost gazing at the beauty of your tie. Google “How to run a country”.
  3. Make some louder noises until the noises on the other end of the technology have gone away.Congratulate yourself on a game well played, and spread some rumours about the other person just in case they thought they could have their own opinion.
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