It is fucking windy today.
Seemingly upon seeing this exciting environmental development the neighbours have bought Thrasher, Screamer and Arsehole giant space hoppers. The space hoppers are bigger than their three-year old torso’s, and probably weigh more than their body weight combined.
Thus, my afternoon has consisted of watching the wind buffeting three helpless children around their garden, screaming and crying, as their fuck-off big space hoppers slam into them unsuspectingly like ricocheting cannon balls.
Occasionally, witnessing a fellow offspring being knocked over makes the others laugh, before they are themselves face-planting a giant plastic ball, wiped-out and miserable.
I can’t tell if this is an improvement or not from their usual loud behaviour, but it sure is dramatic to witness and makes me wonder why they don’t just go inside.